Making a New Creation

Do not fear change........People say that change is good.  However, the past 2 weeks the changes have been hard for me to accept.  I turned in my letter of resignation to EMS this week because of back issues.  I recently told my EMS partner, "The end of this chapter in my life has come to a sad close and I'm upset that my body has given out before my heart was ready."  I hurt my back in November and have been in and out of the specialist's office since then.  I knew that I my job would be coming to a close in July beacuse of our training, but I was preparing for that change in the future. God has had other plans and I am trying to keep Him close as this transition progresses. 

I love medicine, I love caring for people, I love the people I work with and it has been an honor to work alongside my mentors in EMS.  Many times I have asked Him this week, "Lord, I don't understand, what do you want me to do now?  We have 4 more months until our training begins.  So, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOW?  I am frustrated, disappointed and angry!"  You know, sometimes I think God giggles when we talk a bit louder to Him, knowing that He has it all figured out.  He is just waiting on us to be more reliant on Him for the answers.

I usually begin my day praying prayer requests for others, but this past week I have started my mornings by asking specifically for His guidance and blessings during this time of unknowing and transition.  Telling Him that I am upset with my body giving out before my heart was ready.  I should have been requesting His grace and mercy for my lack of faith in Him and His plan.

Today, after my morning prayer, I opened my devotional, Jesus Calling, and the pages revealed a quiet, loving answer in response to my LOUD questions to my Lord earlier this week: 

"I am the risen One who shines upon you always.  You worship a living Deity, not some idolatrous, man-made image. (At this point, I felt like God was saying, "Hey! Quit your sulking and pay attention!" So I read on)  Your relationship with Me is meant to be vibrant and challenging, as I invade more and more areas of your life. (I thought, yes, You are really messing things up right now with all of this invading! So I kept reading)  Do not fear change, for I am making you a new creation, with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon.  When you cling to the old ways and sameness, you resist My work within you.  I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone."  Immediately, I closed the devotion and weepily asked for His forgiveness for my selfishness.  My mind recalled the scripture, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11

Change is hard, it's annoying and frustrating at times, but sometimes God uses change to redirect our path and align us with Him. We are all guilty of our own agenda and clinging to the routines of our lives because they are comfortable.  I thank God for changing my path earlier than I anticipated and I thank Him for choosing me to do His work. Forgive me Lord for questioning your timing and thank You for your quiet, loving response that, You know the plans for me.